Monday, June 05, 2017

100 days of happiness challenge - Curse Lifted.

Day 1

Quote of the day:
“Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite:
"Fool!" said my muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.”
― Philip Sidney, Astrophel and Stella

My last post was on 31/08/16, I have been on almost 10 months of self-imposed sabbatical. Did I miss blogging? Yes, I did. I can easily recall more than a dozen times sitting in front of my laptop determined to write a blog post but somehow couldn't. My friends opined that I am suffering from a 'writers block' but I feel I am/was too distracted. Because all of a sudden I developed this huge fascination for watching YouTube, reading Quora and Reddit.

It's a fascinating world, I must say… reading interesting stories, watching even more interesting stuffs. But I did realize I was leaving a hobby that I was most passionate about... way behind. My family mocked me by saying "Blogging is one of the many things you started and left mid-way." My inability to write and consistently switching tabs as if possessed and watching and reading random things for hours disturbed me... yes it did. But heart of heart I was enjoying every minute of it.

I still look at my 6 incomplete short stories with despair, having no clue what to write next. I have blamed the internet, disconnected my laptop from the available Wi-Fi, every time I did that, I fell asleep.

But today it's different, like always I was watching YouTube "abandoned castles in the world" though pretty interesting topic and it did held my attention for some time. But all of a sudden I had this major urge to write a blog. So here I am writing one.

I still have this strong urge to check on my Facebook, watch a video on YouTube, but I am determined to write a blog. I really hope I feel the same tomorrow too. Writing after such a long time... feels great; it feels as if some curse has been lifted, as if I could see a nice bright silver lining in a dark gloomy sky. I am already feeling lighter and happier.

So cheers my dear readers, I hope to complete my 100 days of happiness challenge and with that return back to writing. 

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I am just trying hard to fit in.

I am just trying hard to fit in...

I am trying hard to fit in.
Laughing and giggling;
Like I am my own dumb twin.
I see each day my brain crippling.
Yet I go out there,

Just trying hard to fit in.

Every day I tell myself,
“Darling, this is not your place
You deserve to be by a bookshelf.
People, is the last thing you should chase.”
Yet I go out there,
With an artificial smile on my face;

Just trying hard to fit in.

I miss the time when I used to be alone,
Pen, paper and I, inseparable and strong.
I was a loner, only if I had known;
I should not have tried hard to get along.
Yet I go out there,
Feeling foolish and wrong,

Because I am just trying hard to fit in.

Maybe I should give up;
Maybe I should let go,
This mess I have to clean up,
Because no more I can bow.
I no more wish to go out there…
Saneness came knocking, anyhow.

Because I am done trying to fit in

I was never meant to mingle;
Laugh and make fun of people.
I was meant to sit and read,
Watch movies all day or sleep.
I no more wish to go out there,
Priorities I need to keep.

Because finally I got in where I fit in. :)