Monday, September 29, 2014

What's inside me...




I sit in an isolated corner,
hiding myself away;
I have become such a loner,
I am keeping my friends at bay.

I am tired of acting,
acting... as if I am okay;
I want to scream and shout,
or maybe even run away.

I hate to get up from my bed,
I feel sad, numb and down all day;
I feel invisible most of the time,
It's like I am slowly...fading away.

At times I blame my life;
At times I blame people around me
But I know it is not be the reason
Problem is deep within me

I don't want to be like this,
I need my old self back,
Depression is sucking away all the fun;
I need to get my life back on track.

Friday, September 26, 2014

#CelebrateBlogging Chapter 19 - Unending Doubts










Soul of a Star 


Chapter 19


Shekhar ran through the never ending by-lanes of Bandra, screaming Tara and Roohi’s name. He could hear them calling back but they were nowhere to be seen.He frantically searched for them. He kept walking – swiftly and breathlessly. Unconsciously his hand moved to wipe the sweat off his face. But as he looked at his hands it was covered in blood.

With that he woke up... his shirt was soaking wet and he actually felt breathless as if he was running from the last couple of hours. He missed Tara and Roohi. He had never stayed away from them for so long.He wondered if they were alright and even 'alive'.

As he was engrossed in his thoughts, a policeman called his name. He was soon escorted to a near-by room. The room was dark and dingy. The smell of dampness was too strong for anybody. It was nothing like they showed in the movies. After a few minutes a constable offered him a glass of water, Shekhar took a sip but the water too had a peculiar taste. Shekhar noticed there were no windows. The only source of air was a sad excuse of a fan.

After waiting endlessly Inspector Kabir showed up. He sat opposite Shekhar and smiled. 
“Is this your first time in a jail?

“Ye..ss..,” Shekhar replied.

“Before I forget I need to tell you that I am a huge fan of your articles and I have seen couple of your films too. You are an awesome writer.”Inspector Kabir said making sure he gave nothing away.

Shekhar looked at him for a long time, wondering why Inspector Kabir was indulging in a casual conversation. He somehow managed to give a meek smile.

“So tell me did Tara and you fought, maybe even a small argument, before she disappeared? Kabir looked at him without even blinking once.

“No, she said she was working on a very important project, so she left early that day.” Shekhar said nodding his head.

“Did she say what project?” Kabir asked.

Shekhar looked at Inspector Kabir and murmured “Tara had made a rule that we would never discuss work with each other.”

“Since you are a story writer, you must have already thought of a good flawless story to support your innocence.”Inspector Kabir said the entire accusation so casually that it took minutes for Shekhar to understand it.

“I have not kidnapped my wife or my kid. What possible joy would I get by doing that? I love them more than myself. Please Inspector, understand I have nothing to do with it. I am extremely confused and worried about my family. I might lose them because you want to waste your time on me and not look for my family or let me do that. I am getting a feeling that’s telling me that something is not right.” Shekhar almost pleaded.

“Sirji, I have become your fan. You are even a good actor. You almost convinced me.”  Inspector Kabir said followed by a sarcastic smile. “So tell me, is it true you were jealous of your wife’s success and you even believed she was having an affair with her colleague.”

“No, that’s not true.” Shekhar noticed the inspector gave him a piercing look. “Okay, I was jealous of her success because it pricked my male ego. These things are common amongst married couples. But I swear I would never do anything to hurt her or my daughter. I love them too much.” With that Shekhar started crying. He was not crying because he was in a jail but because of the hopelessness of the situation. He was not able to search for his wife and daughter because he was stuck here and there was no way he could convince the policemen that he was not the kidnapper.

***

Cyrus was sitting in Jennifer’s room as the WiFi signal was better in her room. He was trying to search a little more about Aryan Ahuja from the internet. His instincts told him that there’s more to him than that meets the eye. Aryan Ahuja wasn’t exactly the prince charming, there was evil lurking somewhere in him.

The door bell rang, Cyrus knew it was Aryan. Jennifer had told him Aryan would be coming to pick her up. As Cyrus opened the door he was amazed to see the man standing in front of him. Aryan Ahuja looked even better looking in person. No wonder his aunt was going all gaga over him.

“Hey, I am Cyrus. I am Jennifer’s nephew.” Cyrus murmured.

“Hey Cyrus, I have heard a lot about you.  She loves you a lot.” Aryan said.

“I know that.” with that Cyrus cut him short.

“Do you want to drink water? Sorry, that’s all I have in the room right now.” Cyrus shrugged his shoulder as he said.

“No thanks, so what time is Jennifer expected to be back from work?” Aryan asked casually.

“Any time now,” Cyrus looked up and suddenly he thought it would be nice to hear his side of the story “So I heard how two of you met. Tara hooked you guys up.” He said casually.

“Yeah, Tara is a darling. It’s really sad to hear about Tara and Roohi gone missing.” Aryan’s face was unreadable.

“Everything happened so fast with you and Jenny, one day she is single and the next day she is dating you. So do you really like her or is it just a time pass? Aunt Jennifer may look cool but she tends to get emotionally attached.”  Cyrus sounded concerned.

“You sound too mature for your age. Well to be honest the same thought is killing me. I like Jenny a lot, but I am not too sure if she is serious or taking it as a time pass. I would hate to see my heart stomped on.” Aryan said nervously.

Cyrus looked at him amused “Do you feel this way because she is independent, successful and have tattoos?”

“No, because she is pretty modern and extremely unorthodox compared to all the women I know” Aryan tried to clarify.

“So how’s work?” Cyrus asked; let’s get to business he thought to himself.

“Work’s good.” Aryan murmured.

“Your company has been in news lately and that too for all the wrong reasons. How did you cope with that?” Cyrus bent forward and looked inquisitively at Aryan.

For a few seconds Aryan looked irritated and then he looked at Cyrus and smiled. “I see somebody has done a lot of research. Okay tell me what wrong reasons?”

Cyrus looked into his laptop and repeated what was written on a website “That your company has been unethically conducting clinical trials on monkeys. Few articles also claim that in the raid conducted by an animal right activist organisation, some supervisors of the company were also found to have participated in these clinical trials as a ‘subject’ against an extra payment. Out of which, four people had complained of deteriorating health.”

Aryan laughed “Cyrus, c’mon be serious. You don’t really believe whatever is written in the media. This is a time of paid journalism. The more you succeed, more people are going to talk ill about you. Your competitors are going to spend lots of money to see you fall by creating such baseless rumours. You can let such claims affect you or you could just move on and do your work. I chose to move on.”

Cyrus wanted to ask more, but Jennifer entered the room. Her face lit up as soon as she saw Aryan. They both hugged and they left for dinner.

***

Inspector Kabir looks out of the window lost in his thoughts...Shekhar either was a very good actor or he was innocent. He no way sounded like a person who could plot a kidnap of his wife and child. Moreover there was no sufficient evidence against him. He had to let Shekhar go. Maybe he could keep an eye on Shekhar and see where he goes, whom he meets...


He called the constable and asked him to release Shekhar. As Shekhar stepped out of the jail he was even more determined to search for his wife and child.


Read Chapter 20 - Realization

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

#CelebrateBlogging Chapter 13 - Tick-Tock





Read Chapter 12 - Legally speaking
Soul of a Star
Chapter 13- Tick Tock

Two days before things start going terribly wrong...


Jennifer stood outside Costa Coffee in Lokhandwala waiting for Tara. She looked around and couldn’t help wondering how come all good looking people live in Mumbai? Kochi was a very dull place for a single girl. And as she continued to wait, a man fidgeting with his laptop caught her attention- beautiful hands, beautiful face, crisp white shirt; he looked at her and they exchanged smiles.


All of a sudden Jenny felt a tap on her shoulder.


“If you are done flirting, can we please go inside the coffee shop...Jeez.”Tara said.


“I wasn’t flirting.” She smirked. “I was just trying to check if the ol’ charm hasn’t started to rust. I am relieved I am still as good as new...in my case young.”Jenny had the naughtiest smile...which made her look like a teenager.


“There is a part of me, who always wanted to be like you..the crazy, out-of-mind ‘YOU’.. Can you believe that?” Tara giggled.


“Too late sweetheart, you can never be me. You are married now. But you had your chance though.”Jennifer said matter-of-factly.


“Talking about marriage.. When are you planning to get married? Remember the clock is ticking.”Tara said it lightly, but she was genuinely concerned about Jenny.


“Congratulations, you are the 1000th person to tell me that. You just won yourself a nice kick on your butt.” Jennifer blurted. She continued, “If you are so concerned why don’t you find someone for me?”


“Sure, would gladly do so. Tell me what kind of men do you like?” Tara looked determined.


“...ummm” Jennifer looked around and her eyes fell on a business magazine “Something like him. Mr. Aryan Ahuja, the M.D. of AhujaEnterprise.”


“You want a man like him?” Tara confirmed.


“Yeah, he is not only good looking and with an awesome personality. He’s among the few who has become successful at such a young age. Which means he has his priorities all straightened out.” Jennifer for the first time sounded serious.


Tara smiled “Well your crush happens to be my next door neighbour. He just shifted a couple of months back. He is a great friend of Shekhar and is very fond of Roohi too. He often gets chocolates for her.” As she continued Jennifer looked at her stunned “...if you want I can fix you a date with him.”


Jennifer kept looking at Tara. After few minutes she finally screamed "I know he is your next door neighbour. I am just amazed it too you so long to think that.


“Please could you shut the drama queen act and just say yes or no?”Tara tried to stifle her laughter.


“Of course it’s a bloody big block letter ‘YES’. How can you even come up with such a stupid question?”Jennifer replied.



Tara did not reply as she could not stop giggling. It would be simply awesome if Jennifer gets married to Aryan. It would be one big happy family.



Tara looked at her watch and screeched “Oh! sh*t it’s already 4 P.M. I am sorry Jenny I have to run now. I have a very urgent matter to attend. I will call you up in the evening to fix your date’s time and day.” With that she winked at Jennifer and left.



As Tara and Jennifer walked their separate paths they both thought the same thing that talking to each other most of the times was all the therapy they needed in their stressful lives.


***


As Jennifer reached her hotel, she got a message from Cyrus that he had to leave for Delhi, to attend some urgent business. “Everyone has some or the other urgent business to attend. I am the only vella one” she muttered ruefully.



She decided to take her bath and freshen up. It was her last day in Mumbai, back to same ol’ life same ol’ story from tomorrow. As she came out of her bath, she saw her phone blinking. There were 3 missed calls and a message from Tara.



She opened her message box as she read her eyes grew wider and wider.



I wish someday you learn to keep your phone’s ringer on. Well I just called to say rather remind you that I am a genius. I have fixed a date for you with Mr.Ahuja at my place. Dinner time today. Please do not be late. Hugs.



Jennifer was under the impression that Tara was joking about the date. “Shit, I have nothing to wear.” Jennifer checked the watch it was already 6.15 PM. She decided to do some last minute shopping.


***


7:30 P.M.



Jennifer stood outside the door, she straightened her dress, retouched her lipstick took a deep breath and rang the bell. She really hoped Mr.Ahuja was late. She was still not ready to meet him. After few seconds she heard Tara’s excited voice and with that she opened the door. Tara looked at Jenny with sheer pride and admiration.


“You cleaned up pretty nice, dear darling friend!” she exclaimed.


“Thanks!” Jennifer smiled as her eyes nervouslyscanned the room.


“He’s not here; Shekhar and Aryan are at the patio, waiting for you.” Tara winked.


Tara escorted Jennifer to the patio where the men were having their drinks. Aryan Ahuja was everything Jennifer had wanted in a man - tall, chiselled features and gentlemanly qualities. Tara noticed Jennifer was nervous and that was so unlike her. Tara and Shekhar excused themselves on the pretext of attending to Roohi.



Tara started soft instrumental music by Kenny G. Hoping for the sparks to start flying. But this music made Jennifer and Aryan acutely conscious.



Jennifer finally broke the silence, “I hate instrumentals. They are like lullabies.”



Aryan said nodding his head, “I couldn’t agree more. It never breaks the ice, it just make things even more awkward.”



Jennifer was relieved to know that he looked every bit nervous. “So what kind of music do you prefer?” She asked.



Aryan thought for a second “I am more into metal and soft rock.” after a small pause “..I like R&B too.”



Jennifer smiled and she said excitedly “Wow, same here. My favourites are Guns and Roses, Pink Floyd, Queens and the list goes on..”



Tara watched them from the window. Both were laughing animatedly.Soon minutes turned into hours. Finally Tara had to act as party pooper.



“Hey, sorry to disturb but dinner is getting cold and I have no intentions of reheating it.” Tara felt guilty of breaking up things but she was feeling left out.



As they enjoyed their dinner, Shekhar asked Jennifer about Cyrus. “I don’t know he had to leave all of a sudden. We didn’t even meet. He just left me a note. I tell you..kids these days...” with that Jennifer realized she sounded like an old nagging aunt.She turned to Aryan and said “Did I tell you I am just 32?”With that all started laughing. Soon the party came to an end. Jennifer and Aryan promised to keep in touch. Jennifer had an early morning flight to catch so she hugged Tara &Shekhar and bid them farewell.



***



As she sat waiting for the flight to take off, she couldn’t help thinking that she had only two things in her life, she wanted to thank God for; one was Cyrus and the other was Tara, her soul sister.

Who would have known that everybody's life would turn upside down in the next 24 hrs.

Read chapter 14 : The first key


Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com.#CelebrateBlogging with us.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Word Weavers Chapter 1: Hole in a Do-nut #celebrateblogging






The soul of a star

Chapter 1 - Hole in a Do-nut



Tara stared at the beach with moist,misty eyes.  She watched the angry waves lashing onto the shores of Juhu. Her brain continued to ask “Now what?”every few moments as she twisted the already crumbled piece of paper in her hand.

***

She couldn’t believe how her life- which a million girls would kill for- had turned into a living nightmare. She was a dancer, top-rated model and even acted in a couple of movies. She was the most sorted and highest –paid model on the Mumbai and Delhi ramp circuit...a showstopper for every designer, the “ Musthave” one. People used to say , “ If Tara is not there for your collection, there is surely no taara (star) in your work”.

Who would have guessed she would fall in love with a dark, brooding writer? The man who seemed distant, aloof, someone with an aura of mystery around himself. The one who seemed to scream the “catch me if you can". Tara was used to being treated like a celebrity, she simply bowled by the sheer confidence, indifference and his stoic demeanour. Like others he didn’t compliment on the way she looked. He didn’t really cared how she looked. The feeling of being treated as a normal individual was very refreshing. While she saw lust in the eyes of others, Shekhar`s were different.

  The more mysterious and distant the man acted, the more attracted she got to him. The way he spoke, the way he wrote, made him look even better than prince charming. The drink in his hand and cigarette on the other...never looked this sexier. Though he was not conventionally good looking but there was something about Shekhar that kept pulling her towards him. He was magnetic. No wonder she was the one to pursue him to marry her.

The fact that her parents disapproved of Shekhar made her like him even more. Maybe it was her own way of taking revenge, revenge from a father who had failed to stand up for her and revenge from a picture-perfect fairy tale stepmother, who left no stone unturned to make her life a living hell.

She fought with her parents. This was not the first time she disappointed them and she was more than happy in doing that.She had all plans of making sure that it would not be the last time she did it. But she had to marry this guy. He was everything she had ever dreamed of. So she eloped and got married to him.

***

“Marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life. I am still paying for that. I was such an idiot.” Tara screamed.

“Even I am not that happy; no wonder I can’t write anything. Every day and night I just see a sad, frowning and ugly face.” Shekhar retorted.

“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me. Because of me you are surviving. I am the one who’s running this household. Had I not been around.....” with that a huge lump formed in her throat and tears threatened to start flowing . As she fought those,  Shekhar`s words brought her back to reality with a crash “...I would have been happy. I was very happy before you came into my life.” and with that he banged the door and left.

Tara had enough of that nonsense, she decided to leave him. She knew breaking up would hurt but losing someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate is actually a gain not a loss. So she packed her bags and went to live with her friend.

***

With the sound of wave crashing  she snapped out of her thoughts and came back to reality....she again looked at the paper which had the word “POSITIVE” written in block letters. She so wished that she hadn’t met him. She so wished that she had never fallen in love with him. She so wished... 

Somewhere far her favourite song was playing...

Chalo Ek Baar Phir Se, Ajnabi Ban Jaye Hum Dono
Na Main Tumse Koi Ummeed Rakhoon Dilnavaazi Ki
Na Tum Meri Taraf Dekho Galat Andaaz Nazaron Se
Na Mere Dil Ki Dhadkan Ladkhadaaye Meri Baaton Mein
Na Zaahir Ho Tumhaari Kashm-Kash Ka Raaz Nazaron Se
Chalo Ek Baar Phir Se..
..

The song which was Shekhar`s favourite , became her most favourite too when they were courting. But today the same song emphasised a lot of emotions and moods for her... Her love for Shekhar, her marriage and somewhere a regret of which she wasn’t sure and a pray to roll back the time when she hadn`t met him..

Chalo Ek Baar Phir Se, Ajnabi Ban Jaye Hum Dono....


                                                                                                     


Read Chapter 2 of this story "Reflections"









Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com.#CelebrateBlogging with us.