Inner workings of an (in)sane mind

Google Image  Que Sera Sera is an Italian phrase meaning, "whatever will be, will be" and with a chance of sounding super cool, let me confess this has been my motto since childhood, even before I knew this phrase existed. I am sure people who know me well, will happily vouch for me.  From exams to college admissions to marriage and jobs even when it came to friendships, I went with my gut feeling.  Not that it always fared well for me, but somehow I had no regrets. I guess that's the beauty of never thinking too much about results because when you put too much thought into things, you tend to expect a certain result. When it never goes as per plan, disappointment follows. I have always gotten into things without expectations and never weighed the pros and cons. I guess that's my way of making my usually mundane life a tad bit exciting  In all honestly, you cannot mess with fate. So, all you can do is hope the universe and stars align to your advantage and everythin...

  Before you conclude that this blog is about self-pity or rant, it is not. This blog is dedicated to all proud second-fiddlers and letting the world know playing second fiddle is such a fun thing to do .     If you have watched college films, you would have noticed that there are main characters and then there are characters that play the best friend of the main characters. They are not as extraordinary or good-looking as the hero and the heroine , but they are better than the rest. You'll barely know their name or anything about their personal lives. They are always in the background, giving advice and cheering the main lead at every opportunity. Their role is the easiest; they just have to play the loyal friend, a great listener and a tag-along.   The second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find someone who can play second fiddle with enthusiasm - that's a problem . And if we have no second fiddle, we have no harmo...

O Ye, Of Little Faith  is  an old-school British phrase which is kind of a jibe roughly meaning doubting someone's abilities. I feel a level of camaraderie with this phrase and whoever it was used for in the past. I can actually picture those people and me being the best of friends. We are proud people who have worked hard to make sure people around us had no expectations of us.  Expectations are an absolutely evil thing to do and the root cause of most unhappiness. Just think about one thing that makes you unhappy: it is probably because the thing is not as per your expectations. Let me give you an example; what makes me saddest is the way I look and my weight issues. I feel so because of the societal expectations of a specific body type; anything else is either too thin or too fat. I asked my husband what disappointed him the most, and he said that his wife (yours truly) is not as organised as most wives, and again I blame expectations.  When you expect nothing fro...

I am back! Missed me? I am sure you did. So, I failed my A-Z Challenge.  All the while, I have been racking my brains, trying to blame something, anything, on my failure to reach the end. A part of me wanted to blame my job, but I know that's not the case. I did have time to finish 3 Korean Dramas and watch Johnny Depp and Amber Heard proceedings, so that can't be it.   Then I thought maybe because I am going absolutely bonkers being stuck to bed due to a fractured foot. Part of it is true. I struggle to keep myself upbeat and happy, which would have come naturally to me in normal circumstances. I am usually a happy-go-lucky person. So, I think I should blame my failure on that. But then I also know it's not the first time I abandoned something: fashion designing,  music lessons, professional scriptwriting, etc. So, why did I just stop???? The only thing I can blame it on is I, Me and Myself. Have you ever had that uncontrollable urge to do something that would just ...

How important is money   for you??? I never had much regard for money all my life. From pocket money to pocket money, and now, paycheck to paycheck, my life has passed by. Now that I am a mum, and going by the tradition, I am supposed to teach my child the importance of money. For the first and only time in my life, I feel like an inadequate parent.  My mom, unlike me, was excellent with money. She would meticulously divide her money into expenses, investments, and savings.  Every year, I tried, I swear I did, to walk in her footsteps, and every year, I failed miserably. When I was young, 1st of every month, we (my sisters and I) would get Rs. 500 as pocket money. My friends and I weren't party-animal kinds of people, but we did share a love for books and music, and that's where our money went into. In my defence, I walked a lot and read second-hand books to save whatever measly sum was left. CDs were expensive, though. By the middle of the month, I would be heading to m...

IS IT OKAY TO LIE IN A RELATIONSHIP? A week ago, I read a magazine that said 73% of people lie to their partners. I don't know how much of it is true, but that's what the publication claimed. If you asked me, I think 100% of the couples do. I lie all the time. Imagine, If I told my husband the actual cost of the pair of jeans I bought? or that I ruined his favourite shirt because I forgot to separate the whites from the colours. Now his formal white shirt has green patches all over it. I love my life and my happiness; needless to say, I will lie. I will say I bought those jeans in a 50% off sale and can't find his white shirt.  Having said that, I do not condone lying in a relationship. If I lust over a Korean/ Hollywood/Bollywood actor, my partner will be the first to know. On another thought, I think I would keep that information to myself. In my defence, I am not lying here. Hiding information is not lying.  Every evening, we tell each other what we did and whom we met. ...

  Any parent who says they understand their child and can predict their next move is either a superhuman or is just lying. No matter what age, children are like PMSing women - their moods, taste, and words change even before they can bat their eyes, and they are always cranky.  1. You go to a relative's place and tell them your child hates sweets. That day your child will have sweets and ask for a second serving, and if you haven't died of shame already, maybe the third serving too.  2. Your child is after you for guitar classes, and you buy him a pretty expensive guitar and enrol him in an equally expensive guitar class. Day and night, you keep hearing tuneless guitar noise and yet clap and say, " oh, what amazing music ." But still, despite ruining your eardrums and living with a perpetual headache, you get to hear that the guitar is a dull instrument and how his fingers ache and if only he could enrol in drum classes instead. I wish I was strong and cruel enough to...

You know what has saved more lives than the medicines... the phrase JUST JOKING. It has averted major fights, saved friendships and even brought about laughter. This phrase should/would have easily won a Nobel Peace Prize if it was a person. All through my life, I have been an on-the-face person. I am not diplomatic, and my parents have often complained about my poor people skills, which has put me in a lot of trouble. For instance, when I was groom hunting (yes, your's truly was indeed a hopeless person and couldn't find herself a guy and had to go for her parent's help to get hitched), I met a man, and our conversation went as follows: I - So, what kind of a life partner are you looking for? Him - Somebody who takes care of my parents, my home and me. (Well, his people-pleasing skills were as questionable as mine) I (being who I am) - You don't have to marry for that. Servants are going to be a lot cheaper.  Him - But there are other things that a servant cannot do. (...

All through my life I always believed that you need to be with someone who makes you happy, who soothes away all troubles. Because this is what was fed to most of us since childhood that our happiness depends upon our partner, it is his job to make me happy. Be it Fairy tales where Knight in shining armour saves the damsel in distress or Mills and Boon or Harlequinn romances where a rich dude saves a down on luck girl. This is how it is supposed to be. Well, NO. And nobody could have explained this better than Katrina Kaif. She, in one of the episodes of Koffee with Karan said something that blew me away. Yes, the most superficial talk show had this gem and the respect for this lady has grown 10 folds.  She said, " My biggest learning in relationships is nobody is responsible for your happiness. And you cannot give them that power, because you cannot burden another person with that responsibility. " and it made complete sense to me. Making one person responsible for my happin...

Raising a husband can be an exhausting task. Nevertheless, Husbands are amazing creatures. They are generally great guys. I love when small house chores that they do, and like a child, they would come to you pretending to have moved a couple of mountains; that's absolutely adorable.   So, Janhit mein jaari (Issued in the public interest)10 things every husband should know that we know: 1. We know when you are looking at women. So when we ask you if you were, just say yes. "Oh, are you talking about the girl in the white top? No, I wasn't looking at her." this is not the reply we want to hear.  2. We know what you mean when you say, "You always look good, fat or thin." when we ask you if we look fat. Trust me, please lie. We have eyes; we know we look fat, we just don't want to hear it from you - directly or indirectly. 3. We know why you have a bored expression on your face when we cook in compared to when you have your mom's cooked food and act as i...

Today, I chanced upon my relative's before and after the weight loss picture, and honestly, I was amazed by the transformation. She lost a massive 20 kilos. I heard she had been gymming a lot.  Well, my relationship with my Gym can be best described as Complicated. Either I am completely into it, or I am just avoiding it like the plague. The change of attitude, just like any relationship, is pretty gradual : Night Before Day 1:   Gym Clothes neatly folded, Shoes wrapped and kept in gym bags.  Day 1 :  At 5 in the morning, I thoroughly wash my face, brush my hair, and reach the Gym on time.  Run-on treadmill Cycle Row Lift weights By the time I am done, I feel like a cartoon character whose bones will break into million pieces with just the slightest touch. Day 2:   Almost the same as Day 1. Only a slight difference - my body aches. I can feel every muscle and bone in my body and even those I didn't know existed. And yes, I forgot to ready my gym bag the pre...

Attention: Before you start reading it, I apologize to whosoever finds this word offensive. And if you have a great distaste for this word, I suggest you stop reading it right away because I have used it extensively in my post.  Yesterday, my friends were discussing what we could write on F in the ongoing A- Z blogging challenge. Some group members said something about F-word, and we all joked about it, and the topic ended.  I since childhood have been told, and that too pretty strictly, that we were not supposed to use expletives in the house or outside. Just the usage of stupid, idiot or donkey was enough to get us royally punished. But lately, I have found a great liking for the word FUCK.  Just say the word aloud, and you will realize how liberating the word is. I have given great thought to it. I personally don't find the word the least bit offensive. Most probably, it has a lot to do with the context. I never use the word as an offence or an abuse like Fuck you! Who...