Realizing it's time to move on....
My friend just broke up with her boy friend. They had been dating since last 4 years. Like all broken-hearted lovers my friend too is going through a series of phases from angry to denial to self-blame.
She said something that has been haunting me since last couple of days. She said "How can he just fall out of love, I used to tell him I LOVE YOU everyday and he would reply back I LOVE YOU, TOO, I have no clue when did the falling out of love happened" Frankly, I knew it was coming, I am surprised my friend didn't.
In to day's times "I love you" has become the most commonly used phrase and "I love you, too" is the second most commonly used phrase. It's more like shouting on Mumbai roads "Ganpatti bappa" and you would immidiately hear someone shouting back "Mourya" or like if you say "Zor se bolo" prompt comes the response "Jai mata di".
It's the body language that tells you everything, Like
- The hugs gets quicker or at times none at all,
- Phone calls are shorter and not necessarily every night.
- You stop hurrying to the place you have decided to meet up.
- When you guys meet up the smiles are no longer that bright and big
- You guys no longer just think about each other, other thoughts and people seem more important.
In my friend's case, she was so enamored by her boy friend that she didn't seem to notice anything, the changes that crept into their relationship. An outsider could notice the changes, but a person who's head over heels in love will happily turn a blind eye.
I think most of us (other that the strong-willed and strong hearted)are like that, the moment we fall for someone, we fall real bad. We just refuse to accept that it might not have an happy ending. We live in our imaginary world where everything is honey soaked. Our boy friend is a mills and boon or Yash Raj hero who would never hurt us.
So all I could advice my friend was " Been there, done that. Life will go on with or without him, so untangle yourself from his arms and start to walk away, you will find someone who actually truly, madly and deeply would "LOVE YOU".
I beg to differ. I have seen some women who are more practical and fun-loving than the boys they 'fall' for. But this cannot be generalized.
ReplyDeleteBrendan... it was just a casual post. I was not generalizing anything. All I wanted to convey was there are so many times in the lives of both boys and grls, thing happen which they didn't really expect. To get out of that shock is really difficult.
DeleteRegarding the practical and fun loving women...after break -up...trust me either they are putting up a brave face or their love wasn't true enough..:(. No person can be immune and come out laughing after a bad relationship.
Have seen this situation with so many friends and I agree.. it maybe devastating to her right now but time will heal and even bring her back stronger when she meets the right man for her.
ReplyDeleteWell, you have put your views in perfect words. That's what our job is. to say what we believe in. to have a voice of our own. good job :)
ReplyDeleteIn to day's times "I love you" has become the most commonly used phrase and "I love you, too" is the second most commonly used phrase. It's more like shouting on Mumbai roads "Ganpatti bappa" and you would immediately hear someone shouting back "Mourya" or like if you say "Zor se bolo" prompt comes the response "Jai mata di".
ReplyDeletei liked this para...
my best wishes with your friend :-)
:)
DeleteOne couldn't have said it better, but just that matters of heart are too full of emotions, which often shuts the brain and the practical vision. I have witnessed many such cases too with my dear ones and all one can do is accept the fact, feel the hurt, fathom the pain, invoke back love for self and move on. May your friend and many alike have the strength to face it.
ReplyDeleteNicely put sentiments.
I agree with you that, "I love you" has become a very easy-to-say phrase. And also that we live in an imaginary world where we want our love to be someone who would never hurt us. Nice post.. good read :)
ReplyDeleteCrisp and succinct! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100%. It's not wise to cry over the child you have buried long back. I always hold that love is not be all and end all of life.
ReplyDeleteNice one, liked it
ReplyDeleteHi Renu - You have said everything! That's all about human behaviour :) You just need to be careful cz thats only going to hurt you laterz. Well Written my friend!
ReplyDeleteSo true. I believe love should be handled with the mind as well along with the heart. We shouldn't just get blinded and be oblivious to the practical aspects of the relationship.
ReplyDeleteHmm ... the reasons are well sorted .. and most of it is true ... this is part of life, the phase is inevitable .. hurts initially but as they say time heals everything ..
ReplyDeleteLife goes on with many hiccups and we have to get adjusted to the flow of life, sometimes hurt and sometimes delighted. Yet when love is real, it turns out to be enduring.
ReplyDeleteWell written post dear. So true.
ReplyDeletePersonal views on a delicate subject. May not cut ice with most. My fervent apologies for any unintended hurt or differences.
ReplyDeleteWomen are a fundamentally different and inherently stronger species than Men. They are the toughest and ,yet, at times, the meekest and weakest. And believe me, each is blessed equally with both the extremes. Their only flaw, that sinks them deeper than Men. They are an easy prey to cliches that devour on, and, sadly, thrive by the very them. The cliched superficial expressions of "LOVE" and a "MAN" in the above saga :-
LOVE - a constant need for an oft-parroted "I LOVE YOU". The act steadily undermines and erodes the rarely realised essence, fathomless extent and eternal endurance of the richest emotion yet not completely known to the human heart.
MAN - the less said about maddening, unrealistic man-hunt for a stereotypical "mills and boon" act.... or a yash chopra hero who usually slaps/saves/sexes/kisses the women into submission.... YUCK YUCK YUCK.....
NO WONDER SHE IS BLIND TO THE SIMPLE, COMMON, STUMBLING, BUMBLING FOOL, devoid of the traits, and, who, despite them, who would worship her more than her cherished, craved sham of demi-gods, perpetrated on HER by her OWN KIND.
.......M
PS.... No one can EVER "MOVE ON" from a real LOVE. Its a lie to pretend, otherwise. And "STRONG-WILLED AND STRONG HEARTED" is an euphemism, here, for HEART-LESS and UN-LOVING.
ReplyDelete.....M
You are not only pretty, you are very smart. Loved the way you made sense of everything here.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunate event... but I think the signs you mentioned of 'falling love' are actually quite normal with advancing time... if the blood keeps boiling for 365days*lifetime then there will be too much work for the heart to keep pace with that high energy state :)
ReplyDeleteanyway, from an optimist's perspective, whatever happens it happens for good :-P